Page 35 - 2014-2015
P. 35
Volume 1 Issue 1
Bella’s Epiphany
Baylasan Shakhshir Those were the days I would dled up in the dark, unknowl-
watch as the tenth graders hur- edgeable of life entirely, inexpe-
As you read this, right at the ried up the stairs in fear of miss- rienced, and “too young”. I knew
moment your eyes catch a ing class and couldn’t help but I was alive, but I didn’t feel that I
glimpse of these words, I am wonder how amazing it would was living. The day I would fi-
going to fly you away with me be to actually have responsibili- nally exit the womb and be ex-
as I reminisce about my old ties. Yeah, didn’t we all think of posed to the “real world” used to
memories, ones that have been that? On other days, I would be a complete mystery to me,
long-buried in the back of my stare at my full-body reflection but it was all I ever waited for.
mind. I am going to take you in the mirror for too long just
back and let you watch a series wondering how my physical ap- There were days where my
of never-ending flashbacks of pearance would change dramat- mother and I would go shop-
the long-gone days when I was ically when I became a teenag- ping, and naturally I wanted to
a toddler, when I would refuse er. I looked at teenage years in mimic her behavior and actions,
to let my mom spoon-feed me the life of an individual as holy, so I would find myself getting
because I thought I knew I could memorable, and special, where- myself some make-up that I
do that by myself without spilling as I looked at the childhood could scarcely apply to my face
some food and staining my years of an individual as, the correct way, some hair-
clothes. “uninteresting years of learning curlers and high-heels in which
how to blossom into a mature my tiny feet would never fit.
Back when I would continuously person”. That is mainly what children do,
swing my small feet back and and although I cannot deny the
forth as I sat on the edge of my But as I am now a teenager, I fact that we did live as children
bed. Back when I would not let am starting to realize that all I’m were meant to live, we could still
my dad teach me how to write doing is learning to deal with hardly wait any longer for the
the letter S, because even real life, and to blossom into day we would not be referred to
though it was difficult I strongly maturity, which ironically I as “kids” anymore. Those were
believed I needed no help – no thought I had been doing as a the days we were highly oblivi-
help at all. I am going to take child. And if I continue to think ous to a number of things, for
you back to the days I was dy- this way, I am going to unques- instance: one day you are going
ing to become a fearless grown- tionably make a terrible mistake, to hear your mother ask you to
up, an independent person. and that’s no laughing matter. prepare your own lunch, and
realize you might never relive
Sometimes, on the other hand, I the days she used to feed you
would stop and think, “This isn’t by herself.
life yet.” Well, mainly because
that is how we’ve all been
taught. I had a feeling eating me
alive, gnawing deep into my
flesh – I felt like I was still in the
womb; a yet unborn fetus hud-
35
Bella’s Epiphany
Baylasan Shakhshir Those were the days I would dled up in the dark, unknowl-
watch as the tenth graders hur- edgeable of life entirely, inexpe-
As you read this, right at the ried up the stairs in fear of miss- rienced, and “too young”. I knew
moment your eyes catch a ing class and couldn’t help but I was alive, but I didn’t feel that I
glimpse of these words, I am wonder how amazing it would was living. The day I would fi-
going to fly you away with me be to actually have responsibili- nally exit the womb and be ex-
as I reminisce about my old ties. Yeah, didn’t we all think of posed to the “real world” used to
memories, ones that have been that? On other days, I would be a complete mystery to me,
long-buried in the back of my stare at my full-body reflection but it was all I ever waited for.
mind. I am going to take you in the mirror for too long just
back and let you watch a series wondering how my physical ap- There were days where my
of never-ending flashbacks of pearance would change dramat- mother and I would go shop-
the long-gone days when I was ically when I became a teenag- ping, and naturally I wanted to
a toddler, when I would refuse er. I looked at teenage years in mimic her behavior and actions,
to let my mom spoon-feed me the life of an individual as holy, so I would find myself getting
because I thought I knew I could memorable, and special, where- myself some make-up that I
do that by myself without spilling as I looked at the childhood could scarcely apply to my face
some food and staining my years of an individual as, the correct way, some hair-
clothes. “uninteresting years of learning curlers and high-heels in which
how to blossom into a mature my tiny feet would never fit.
Back when I would continuously person”. That is mainly what children do,
swing my small feet back and and although I cannot deny the
forth as I sat on the edge of my But as I am now a teenager, I fact that we did live as children
bed. Back when I would not let am starting to realize that all I’m were meant to live, we could still
my dad teach me how to write doing is learning to deal with hardly wait any longer for the
the letter S, because even real life, and to blossom into day we would not be referred to
though it was difficult I strongly maturity, which ironically I as “kids” anymore. Those were
believed I needed no help – no thought I had been doing as a the days we were highly oblivi-
help at all. I am going to take child. And if I continue to think ous to a number of things, for
you back to the days I was dy- this way, I am going to unques- instance: one day you are going
ing to become a fearless grown- tionably make a terrible mistake, to hear your mother ask you to
up, an independent person. and that’s no laughing matter. prepare your own lunch, and
realize you might never relive
Sometimes, on the other hand, I the days she used to feed you
would stop and think, “This isn’t by herself.
life yet.” Well, mainly because
that is how we’ve all been
taught. I had a feeling eating me
alive, gnawing deep into my
flesh – I felt like I was still in the
womb; a yet unborn fetus hud-
35
